Write hard and clear about what hurts

Hello!

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This week, I have ‘celebrated’ (more like pretended December 12th was just like any other day) the first anniversary of my departure from NZ. Seems unreal that this lifetime dream, that we spent years first talking about it in a distant future, then months on, getting ready for the big journey, my gap year that turned into a year and a half trip, is not only over, but far gone, part of this past that can no longer be. I spent months pretending I would go back, that I was still a backpacker wandering the planet, living the life I had chosen, but it was just a lie I kept telling myself to make me feel better. Comes a point you have to face it, when the longing and craving becomes an obstacle and no longer a force that drives you.

I can tell now that I am able to look forward and not back anymore, even though most times the looking forward is forced because the looking back is not bearable, but still. I am happy that I finally reached that point of ‘peace’ of heart. I can recall the memories, without crying or wanting to punch someone. And maybe, it is time to start planning something new, a new trip, a new dream, who knows what lies ahead anyway?

But there are still a few places I want to show you. The show must go on damned! Anyway, I will continue on Queentsown, and more precisely a day out that we did with my Mother, to Walter Peak farm. We did not care much for the farm to be fair, we just wanted to have a trip on the old steam boat. Turned out, the whole day was brilliant. The sailing in the bay of Queenstown was just unbelievable. The view, my god the view! With all the things and time I’ve spent down there, it always comes down to that, Queenstown and lake Wakatipu. Sailing on that boat with that perfect weather, I wished I could have my whole life there, in that little town so far from the whole world, just me and the lake. We eventually landed in the sheep farm, where we had a demonstration of dogs and sheep shearing. Then a huge barbecue of sheep meat, potatoes, veggies, etc. Best meat ever! I remember the rose garden, the lonely black sheep, the still lake and the little boy, with his blue rain jacket, all alone facing the lake, just his blue jacket and the grey still lake.

The sailing back was under the fog, don’t matter, NZ sky always has so much to offer!

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